Ye Gods

Buddha on Lake Aziscoos, Maine

GOD'S MIRACLES

May the Spirit of Life shine on you all. And may all the peoples of earth respect others' belief systems and not try to tell them that they are worshipping the wrong god. The extremists who believe "God's chosen people", the Hebrews (or any other religion), are going to hell if they don't change and worship their god instead, have a big surprise in store for them in the afterlife. Unitarian Universalists believe in a higher power with many names and messengers according to the cultures of various parts of the world. There is no right one or wrong one if you are reading the message of God correctly. Someone asked God why he doesn't send messengers anymore. He replied "Every time I do, you people start a new religion and persecute all my other people. You are all one people with one god who has many names." A friend of mine who has lived in India tells me that Christian evangelists will find responses of "Oh yes, you call the Lord Jesus; well, we call him Krishna. Same difference." Someone trying to tell them that they are different or ONLY one is right will be met with wide-eyed amusement and condescending politeness towards someone who is not yet enlightened. It is not Man's place to judge. Judge not lest ye be judged. Love thy neighbor as thyself. Good intentions require a wider view to determine whether the consequences are also good.

A special note to the born-agains who insist that others are worshipping the wrong god: Wrong god? I thought there was only one. You believe in more than one god??? One god, many names. He/she doesn't care what you call him as long as you call him.

Recommended links: The Heretics page, and No Hell? page.

Buddhists, Taoists, Humanists, Pagans, liberal religious dilettantes against dogma, social activists, cultural creatives all find home at Unitarian Universalist churches. Check your yellow pages for one near you, or click here for a UU church near you.

CHRISTIANS SUE TO STOP SCHOOL PRAYER

That reminds me of a story in a Vermont newspaper that curiously didn't get much publicity last year. CHRISTIANS SUE TO STOP SCHOOL PRAYER was the headline. It was a 95% Buddhist community and the school system was performing Buddhist prayers and meditations. It was no problem until one student complained to his parents that he didn't want [his parents' words, I'd guess:] to pray to someone else's god and that if he didn't join in, he was ostracized by his peers for being different and thus wrong. This world would be a VERY boring place if everyone was the same. Vive la difference! The prayers were stopped. Oh well, prayer is for home and anywhere that we are in our own private space, anyway.

Lord Under Investigation For Failure To Provide
WASHINGTON, DC-- The six-millennia-old sky-father deity Yahweh, worshiped by Christians, Muslims and Jews alike for His alleged all-knowing compassion and vast benevolence toward humanity, refused comment following Monday's announcement that the U.S. Justice Department will investigate allegations of failure on His part to provide for His approximately 3.5 billion human followers.
Full Text »

This was passed on to me by an associate and it really made me stop and think. We are trully blessed.

If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following.

There would be:

57 Asians

21 Europeans

14 from the Western Hemisphere, both north and south

8 would be Africans

52 would be female

48 would be male

70 would be non-white

30 would be white

70 would be non-Christian

30 would be Christian

89 would be heterosexual

11 would be homosexual

6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth - all 6 would be from the United States.

80 would live in substandard housing

70 would be unable to read

50 would suffer from malnutrition

1 would be near death; 1 would be near birth; only 1 would have a college education;

1 would own a computer

When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, the need for both acceptance, understanding and education becomes glaringly apparent.

Therefore . . .

If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep - you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace - you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness - you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation - you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.

If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death - you are more blessed than three billion people in the world.

If you are white or American and you think that anyone different is wrong or inferior; if you are straight and you think that anyone different is wrong or inferior; if you are a Christian and think Jesus is the only path to salvation and that anyone different is wrong or inferior ......... then you may be in for a mighty big surprise when God takes a look at your life. [you also need to go to the "Conversations with God" page]

If your parents are still alive and still married - you are very rare, even in the United States.

If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you. Furthermore, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.

Pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all really are.

Have a good day; count your blessings.

Pope Calls For Greater Understanding Between Catholics, Hellbound
VATICAN CITY--In an address before over 250,000 followers assembled outside St. Peter's Basilica, Pope John Paul II reaffirmed his commitment to global religious unity, calling upon the world's Roman Catholics to "build a bridge of earthly friendship" between themselves and the eternally damned.
Full Text »

Vatican Rescinds 'Blessed' Status Of World's Meek - 'Screw The Meek,' Says Pope
VATICAN CITY--In a historic reversal of its nearly 2,000-year-old pro-meek stance, the Catholic Church announced Tuesday that it is permanently rescinding the traditional "blessed" status of the world's meek.
Full Text »

GOD'S TOTAL QUALITY MANAGEMENT QUESTIONNAIRE

God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to better serve your needs, He asks that you take a few moments to answer the following questions.
Please keep in mind that your responses will remain completely confidential:

1. How did you find out about your Deity?
___ Newspaper
___ Bible
___ Torah
___ Dead Sea Scrolls
___ My mama done tol' me
___ Near-death experience
___ Near-life experience
___ National Public Radio
___ Tabloid
___ Burning shrubbery
___ Other (specify): _____________

2. Which model Deity did you acquire?

___ YHVH
___ Father, Son & Holy Ghost [Trinity Pak]
___ Jehovah
___ Jesus
___ Krishna
___ Mother Earth/Mother Nature
___ None of the above; I was taken in by a false god
___ I chose a false god

3. Did your God come to you undamaged?
___ Yes
___ No

If no, please describe the problems you initially encountered
here. Please indicate all that apply:
___ Not eternal
___ Finite in space/Does not occupy or inhabit the entire universe
___ Not omniscient
___ Not omnipotent
___ Permits sex outside of marriage
___ Prohibits sex outside of marriage
___ When beseeched, doesn't stay beseeched
___ Requires burnt offerings
___ Plays dice with the universe

4. What factors were relevant in your decision to acquire a Deity?
Please check all that apply.
___ Indoctrinated by parents
___ Needed a reason to live
___ Needed focus in which other sects or cultures I could despise
___ Graduated from the tooth fairy
___ Fear of death
___ Wanted to piss off parents
___ Needed a day off from work and long holidays.
___ Like organ music
___ (Catholic or former Catholic, over 60, only) Liked Latin

5. Have you ever worshipped a Deity before? If so, which false god were you fooled by? Please check all that apply.
___ Mick Jagger
___ Rajanish
___ The dollar
___ Barney T.B.P.D. [the big purple dinosaur]
___ Elvis
___ The moon
___ Hailie Salaisie
___ The Big One

6. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition to God? Please check all that apply.
___ Tarot
___ Lottery
___ Astrology
___ Fortune cookies
___ Ann Landers
___ Psychic Friends Network
___ Dianetics
___ Palmistry
___ Playboy and/or Playgirl
___ Biorhythms
___ Alcohol
___ Mantras
___ Crystals (not including Crystal Gayle)
___ Charlize Theron
___ Other:___________

7. God employs a limited degree of divine intervention to preserve the balanced level of felt presence and blind faith. Which would you prefer?   (Circle one.)
a. More divine intervention
b. Less divine intervention
c. Current level of divine intervention is just right
d. Don't know...what's divine intervention?

8. God also attempts to maintain a balanced level of disasters and miracles. Please rate, on a scale of 1 = unsatisfactory to 5 =
excellent, His handling of the following:
Disasters:
  1 2 3 4 5 flood
  1 2 3 4 5 famine
  1 2 3 4 5 earthquake
  1 2 3 4 5 war
  1 2 3 4 5 pestilence
  1 2 3 4 5 plague
  1 2 3 4 5 Spam
  1 2 3 4 5 AOL

Miracles:
1 2 3 4 5 rescues
1 2 3 4 5 spontaneous remissions
1 2 3 4 5 stars hovering over jerkwater towns
1 2 3 4 5 crying statues
1 2 3 4 5 water changing to wine
1 2 3 4 5 VCRs that set their own clocks
1 2 3 4 5 Saddam Hussein still alive
1 2 3 4 5 getting any sex whatsoever
1 2 3 4 5 Hailie Salaisie still dead

9. Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for improving the quality of God's services? (Attach an additional sheet if necessary. White paper only.)

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Contact your web author with your input at Godman2001@iwon.com

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